Divorce Do’s and Don’ts

Going through a divorce can be a trying time emotionally, physically, and financially. The results of a divorce may follow you for years and possibly for the rest of your life. Do all you can to insure the final results of your divorce are as positive as possible.Divorce for the Right Reason(s) Make sure you are getting divorced for the right reasons. People change, your spouse did and so did you. Communication during a marriage can break down and things like kids and finances can come between couples. Getting a divorce will not make the kids go away and often makes financial matters even worse. Seek counseling if there is even a slim chance that the marriage can be salvaged. Often people think if I simply get rid of him/her I will be happy but there may be an underlying reason to your unhappiness that has nothing to do with your spouse. A qualified marriage counselor can often help you individually or together root out and solve marriage problems.Uncontested Divorce If you are on good terms with your spouse and the feelings between you are mutual, discuss the divorce and see if you can agree to terms without an attorney. There are new, inexpensive methods to file an online divorce through sites like DiscountDivorceOnline that can save you and your spouse thousands of dollars if the divorce is uncontested. Going through an uncontested divorce can also significantly reduce your stress and if you have children is much healthier for them both during and after the divorce.Find the Right Divorce Attorney When a divorce cannot be filed uncontested and an attorney is needed, it is extremely important that you not only hire a skilled divorce attorney, but the right divorce lawyer for you. Every divorce attorney has his or her own style. Make sure their style suits both yours and the style necessary to protect your best interest during and after the divorce. The best way to find the right divorce lawyer for you is to get personal referrals from other people you know who have gone through a divorce and to also see if you can get a free initial consultation with the lawyer. A bulldog divorce attorney may be perfect if your ex is fighting you and making things difficult, but he or she may only antagonize the other attorney and your ex if things are currently friendly. On the other hand, you do not want to hire a passive aggressive lawyer without a backbone if things are heated between you and your spouse. Finally, finding an attorney with a strong work ethic who is willing to stay in and go the long haul is vitally important. If they get bored, tired, or distracted easily they may begin to recommend settlements that appear good for you short term but are not in your long term best interests.Act Quickly During the Divorce Act quickly, what does this mean? If you think for a minute your spouse is vindictive, manipulative, irresponsible, or dishonest then it is crucially important that you direct your divorce lawyer to send legal notices to freeze pension plans, life insurance, 401k’s, stock brokerage accounts, and any other assets such as home and car loans to avoid your spouse from changing beneficiaries, ownership, cashing out 401k’s and life insurance, stock options, etc. Send an immediate notice to all of your credit card issuers to close accounts or change them from joint to single accounts to keep your spouse from maxing them out and increasing debt that ultimately you will both be responsible for until the divorce is finalized.Consider the Children During the Divorce This probably goes without saying, but a divorce can be very trying on children. Talk to kids and if they are old enough to understand discuss appropriate things about the divorce with them. Enlist family and friends to help out and try and substitute time the other spouse may no longer be spending with them. Seek counseling and professional help or support groups for children of divorce. Often you and your spouse will know why you are getting a divorce but it can be very confusing for your children. Share with them but do not go in to too much detail and certainly do not say bad things about your spouse or pit the kids against him or her. This may cause all sorts of trust issues, relationship issues, and parenting issues for your children later in life. There are professionals, books, and web sites you can refer to, so please do not take the above advice as gospel as each divorce is different and I am not a professional divorce counselor or practitioner.Watch Your Finances During the Divorce One of the biggest mistakes individuals make is to divorce because of financial reasons. Often divorcing can intensify the financial problems by increasing the cost of rent and mortgages, child care, transportation, and of course legal fees. If your access to funds is reduced during the divorce then reduce your expenses wherever possible. There are sites on the internet offering divorce financial help and divorce financial advice so use them.Finally, if the divorce looks like it will be drawn out and you cannot wait for access to cash to assist you with living expenses, medical costs, school fees, rental deposits, or the purchase of a new home to house you and your children there is the option of a divorce loan or divorce advance. If you meet the minimum qualifications you can access some of the value of your shared assets today to use any way you wish without monthly payments and typically regardless of your credit and employment. Payback of the divorce loan or divorce advance is not due until the divorce becomes final or the assets are distributed. Sites like EZ Divorce Loan [https://www.EZDivorceLoan.com] offer specifics in greater detail.Each divorce situation is different and this article offers some general suggestions but cannot tell you what you should do you in your specific situation and is not to be taken as legal advice or advice from a professional, counselor, or physician.